The tale of the delinquent blogger...

I suffer from severe perfectionism....SEVERE. 

There are many psychological reasons, family history, experiences in early life that have led to my perfectionism issues, which also manifest in extreme fear of failure and the easiest way for me to often deal with this is to shut down (be lazy). 

I'm terrified of success because it means I need to risk failure to get there.

That is why the last few weeks have been nirvana for me. I've been failing forward, stumbling, shutting down, forcing through. I'm re-meeting me. 

I've lived life being afraid of telling people my dreams, because of an irrational fear that if I say a word about where I'm going with things, then that will 'jinx' it and then it won't happen. 

Sometimes its easier to quit than to keep moving forward.

So things I've learned being a #workfromhomestayathomemom:

1. I adore my kids. They are incredible amazing wonderful kids. And even more so, I love working from home.

2. I LOVE LOVE being an antisocial hermit. Do you KNOW how much work you can get done between 9-330 with no one to bug you and everything quiet in your house?

3. I still need a housekeeper because time doesn't work the same way from home as it does an office AND it turns out my house really doesn't clean itself.

4. I really love being a 'housewife' on the days that I am not too busy to be one. Knowing there is a man that loves us the way Kyle does is beyond immeasurable to me. So making sure he has supper, clean clothes and a tidy house when he gets home from work, is really an easy and wonderfully small thing for me to do for him every day. 

5. Trust is really hard for me, in spite of what people may thing. I'm learning to trust people to do the things they say they will so that I don't have to is difficult for me. I do other people's work too often. So I'm learning to let things happen as they need to.

6. Blogging about all of this has seemed silly to me, as if I don't have the same value as a 'working woman' might, so that is something I'm working on now.

7. I really love being home with my kids (yeah repetitive but it's true!)

So that is why I've been a delinquent blogger, and I apologize, I've been busy being a mom, 'wife' and friend...I'll check in again soon!

Courage

As a parent we face struggles and frustrations that at times are heartbreaking and feel insurmountable

Other times, we have the distinct privilege of watching our children grow into young men and women that far exceed our expectations.

This weekend one of my children made a bad choice, how she chose to handle it and learn from it has astounded me and made me so very proud of her. She has accepted her culpability and stood up, alone, in the face of her punishment and accepted the consequences with grace and dignity.

We couldn't be more proud of her, especially knowing that several of her friends have not shown the same strength of character. There are still many years and many mistakes ahead of her, but we have a great deal of confidence in the amazing human she is becoming. 

We are so proud of her. And as she stands somewhat on her own, away from the influence of friends, who have threatened her with the 'gift' of their conditional friendship, we as parents remind her: