I don't handle conflict well, at least in my opinion. In fact, I deeply envy those that can routinely go into battle and deal head on with being wronged. I simply cannot do that unless I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I'm right AND I'm 100% certain of the outcome OR if I have no issue with losing the relationship in question. Should I find myself in the latter space I find confrontation not to be an issue and just do it. But more often than not, I run, hide, burrow, avoid. Or I draft a memo worthy of any legal battle on film. Basically when it comes to conflict, I do not like it at all.
Admittedly, I'm getting better as the years progress, and I've gotten stronger, been surprised when things go well and even found footing and strength I never knew I had.
So through this journey I began years ago (long before I knew I was on it), I've found myself working toward figuring out how to overcome the negative self talk and fear of conflict I have.
For me, I still find that even today, I become physically shaky at even the slightest conflict or confrontation. I get so upset my stomach hurts if I'm confronted by someone else, especially if they do it via email or text. I shake from head to toe and get butterflies in my tummy. It basically sucks and generally I make something bigger (to me) than it deserves.
After reading...reading some more....and reading...then a little more reading, I've come to the conclusion that it isn't simply that I don't handle conflict well, its that I don't handle unnecessary conflict well. Conflict that could have been totally avoided if one or both parties had just been mature enough to have a simple conversation.
We learn alllll the way back in kindergarten that you do the right thing. Talk to people. Don't hit. Use your words.
Grown ups seem to often like the high school drama or passive agressive role of not facing conflict head on. So they hide, play games, especially in the work place.
To that I simply have this to say:
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