I'm not sure if I'm happy. I'm not a wife. Yet the last two weeks-ish have been kind of awesome. I've been staying at home being a mom and housewife for all intents and purposes.
I've been taking time for me, making sure my house gets cleaned, reorganized, and overall just made better.
The kids are a challenge, but all in all, I'm enjoying this work from home, stay at home mom thing. I like not being that the mercy of a time clock, or being an over paid receptionist. I'm still not sure how I went from being an actual Business Manager (a Chief Operating Officer, without being an officer of the corporation), to being a coffee fetching, note taking, filing maintaining receptionist. Actually I DO know how it happened, and it is actually a legal issue that isn't resolved so that is a story for another time and place.
It would be a lie to say that I don't miss the structure of going to the office everyday, I do. And I miss the office that I designed, contracted and watched grow into a lovely bright white space. But I don't miss the games, the high school behaviour or the nonsense. I have teenagers, I get that at home, thank you very much!
So on this new adventure of mine, while I figure out what I want to be when I grow up (again a story for a later time), I am enjoying the time with my kids who are growing too fast. Time with Kyle who I find has become intrinsically part of me, he just gets me, and who is enjoying the wonders of having a 'housewife' to take care of him.
And secretly, even though I don't have the answers, I'm learning that its ok. Part of me wonders if the universe is just dealing with my control issues, and teaching me to trust and love and KNOW I'll be caught, because I CAN trust.
Until then I'll be a bit of a mess, and try and figure out how this work from home thing goes (I can't work in disaster, so I'm becoming a "throw it out and deal with it like that" person, which can't be bad, right?