Sometimes your the clown, sometimes you're the ringmaster....
Usually in my world I'm the ringmaster, I have control issues so it works.
Lately I've felt like the clown, and that is a feeling that is hard to reconcile. First of all, clowns are freaky and even though there is an association with much of the time they're creepy and terrifying (do a google search of clowns...that sh*t is messed up!) but secondly, my experience with clowns (in circuses I've seen) is they were well intentioned but taken advantage of or teased by peers.
I WANT to be the ringmaster damn it...but as with things in life, a series of circumstances and people aren't allowing that to take place. So I'm trying to be patient...and I'm trying to deal with the indecision all the while I feel caught under the big top...
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