Happiness - A Guest Blog Post

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One of the glorious things about living with your best friend and our best minion's is that ideas, thoughts and at times debates on various subjects and things happening in our world transpire into awesomeness.

Today, the acquaintance of my Spousal Equivalent, posted to their personal blog that--based upon the number of less than kind people who commented back--was NOT a well received piece.  Here is the blog post in question titled: Canada is Turning me into a Shitty Person

+Kyle Burgess and I discussed the piece and the comments at length and then he wrote this: 

Graham, I have never met you, but I am pretty confident you are not a “shitty person”. From what I can see, you have gone to school, furthered your education, made some cool stuff and seen the world from multiple perspectives. However, at the moment you wrote your post, you were displaying a “shitty attitude”.

“I don’t pray anymore,” and “I’m no longer inspired,” are your own feelings.

“I cannot write,”  and “I've been missing the beauty in people and focusing on the negative” are all personal choices and actions.

No one around you can make you feel this way. No one around you can make your decisions for you. If you choose to be “shitty person,” that’s on you and no one else.

“It’s not that Canada is a bad place,” you state. It is a great place. It’s the place that raised us. Gave us free healthcare and public education. Allowed you to travel almost unrestrictedly around the globe. There is running water, roads and electricity. You can walk down the street and not worry about landmines or crossfire. Men and women are treated as equals. You are allowed to assemble and speak your own independent thoughts; something that you have chosen to do. Think of the many countries you have visited and tell them you don’t want any of those freedoms anymore. Tell the starving kids on the street you would forfeit it all because your worldview doesn't align with those you've surrounded yourself with.

Speaking of those who you have condescendingly spoken of, let me share our worldview. Yes, I have chosen to buy a large house. It is a large “thing you need to manage and maintain”. It is also the home of my 4 children. A home that two of which are fortunate enough to have their own small rooms in. And I choose to “work more than live” because I am compensated with just enough to keep their home, enroll them in sports and music, dress them in new and second hand clothes, and maintain a “fast car” (which my grandfather used to teach me to be self reliant). You don’t have to agree with my priorities, but they work for us. We have well adjusted kids who are inspired to create their own lives with their own dreams and values. Their own--not ours.

This is not to say this is how I envisioned things. I was a young and single bachelor in the not too distant past,  travelling the world and living a modest life. It’s funny how things change though as you progress to the next stage of your life. This will happen to you too. Whether now, or 20 years from now, you will evolve and shed the values of your youth. Hopefully you don’t burn the bridges today, that you will need for then.

Just as you, I've spent “time in countries where every single meal is appreciated". One of which is Canada. Almost a million Canadians use food banks every year, and that doesn't include those who are too far from centers with food banks, but are hungry nonetheless. Your story sounds like you are surrounded by a very homogeneous group of people. I challenge you to seek out new networks within Calgary and create the bonds for which you seek.

It sounds a lot like you still haven't figured out what it is you were meant to do with your life. You sound like a smart individual who has made some cool things with your peers. But, you haven't settled into anything permanent. Somehow through this you have managed to pay for the cost of travel. That's an accomplishment if you did it on your own pen. Others would be so fortunate not only to have seen a new land, but to have done it so extensively as you have. They save "to live when they retire" because that is their only option while building families and dealing with the unexpected. 

Don’t “crave an adventure”; live adventurously every day of your life.

Life is a choice. You can choose gratitude or bitterness, but country or environment cannot turn you into a "shitty person". Your choices do. Own them.

Good luck on your journey.

And this, my friends and readers, is WHY I love and trust this man so completely not only with my life, but with that of our children. Today, as everyday, Kyle and I choose joy, laughter and love. For those of your trying to find a way to peace, we wish you well and safe travels.