Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Wanted: Parenting Advice or a kennel...for the kids...
Today we're facing a parenting conundrum. One kid says one thing, the other says another thing, and we are being left to disseminate the truth from the pile of stories we've been given.
The oldest assures us that life would be better as an only child, and we should just keep her. The youngest one seems the most open to change and discipline, so I like the idea of keeping him. The two in the middle just want 15 minutes of our time...we are a family.
So the question becomes...HOW do you figure out the truth when multiple stories are being told? Which child do you discipline and how severely? The issue we are facing is not a new one. The disappointment in our oldest child is palpable, as she knows better.
I've yet to find a parenting book that says I *CAN'T* duct tape them to the wall...yet some sensibility in me says I *SHOULDN'T* do that. Why can't the kids know the different between these things?
Tonight we'll get home and deal with an old problem, yet again, but something isn't working and we've no idea how to fix it. We don't know how to teach our children how to respect (and not touch) what isn't theirs.
I had a healthy fear of my parents growing up and some lines just would not have been crossed. Why is it that my kids don't seem to have the same respect? I've tried to instill in them the same beliefs, morals and ethics. Yet, we keep finding ourselves having to deal with this same issue.
My kids often feel like they have 'less' than their friends because I won't simply replace toys (or bikes) that are misused or broken. They don't get designer things often, and have to work to earn what we buy them beyond the basics. I don't keep flats of pop, or boxes of chips in the house, those are treats. They have chores after school every day that they are expected to complete. They have consequences, and they know it, to not living by the rules of our family.
Yes we have internet and cable, a base package but we have it. The PS3 belongs to Kyle and usually is locked away so they can't game all day, but when they've earned it. Neither of the boys have a DS or other hand held gaming device. Neither of the boys have a cell phone.
Both girls have iPod's but Danika's is second hand and they both had to earn them.
I FEEL like we are doing things right for them, but then I have to ask myself WHY, if we are bucking so much of what is societally the norm, are we having this issue with them? WHY is parenting so fricking hard!?!?