Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Its just a giant popularity contest


Today I'm working on my resume. I do this about every six months, to keep it current and so I am prepared for future client wooing. As I work on it today, I do happen to have a specific prospective client in mind as I tailor and polish.


I'm not sure why I hate doing this so much as it always reminds me of who I am, where I've come from and what I've learned along the way. The reminders are positive, the task is tedious.

The problem is that a) it's annoying to write out what you do and make it look cool, together and posh while avoiding making it look like a mess of crap, and b) it reminds me that when you give a resume you're attempting, via a piece of paper, to tell a total stranger why you are rockstar awesome!

My resume doesn't show my true abilities, or my quirky sense of humor. It doesn't express my fierce loyalty and how I'll take crap in order to protect the greater good. It doesn't tell you how vulnerable I can be or how confident you'll see me as. It doesn't share that I'm a really good person who tries to do the right thing and owns it when I make a mistake.

It really can't show you how great a partnership with me would be, or that I will work myself to crazy to make you (my prospective client) look good! It doesn't show you how much my kids and spouse mean to me, which, in turn, means to you that I'm pretty damn motivated to make our relationship (consider being my client) work! It doesn't cover that all I really want to do in this world is make a difference, and as such I'll work harder than anyone you've met to make you (are you my client yet?) look really good and make a difference in your life.

My resume sure won't tell you that what I may lack in formal education I can make up for by sheer will and enthusiasm to be the very best at what I do. I'll out research, out work and out enjoy making you (you're totally mine, client) look as rockstar amazing as I am.

But all you have is my stupid resume....

And all a resume is at the end of the day, is a sad entry form to a giant popularity contest, judged by the fickle person on the other side of the paper and it sucks. I feel six years old yelling "pick me, PICK ME!"

I'm a grown up, the time for this kind of stuff has long passed, I don't want you have to MAKE you like me, except you NEED to like me...otherwise I'l have issues...and I'll stalk you until you do like me.

Well maybe not, but its a tough thing to worry about what people who have never met you are thinking about you. To worry that you're not good enough for them.

Especially when you know deep down when something is right, and you just want it to happen now, to woo them successfully and be past this waiting and wondering and wooing stage!

But I still keep writing and revising this damn resume and reminding myself...



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